Mommies Anecdotes: Captain Obviously Annoying

Friday, 3 January 2014 00:27 by Avery Olive

I've taken a few weeks off from writing Mommies Anecdotes as I've had other things going on in the way of blog posts. But now that that is over, I hope to get back to my regular schedule.

As some of you may know via other social media, or not, that I have been cleaning out my office. This was a huge undertaking. I mean huge. My office was a disaster, a bomb had literally exploded and the room was unusable. I actually loathed getting up in the morning and checking my email as I had to step over various things littering the floor. My desk was covered with papers, empty pop cans and crumbled gum wrappers. It was actually hard to tell what colour my desk was, as every surface had something on it. It's oak by the way.

Anyways, I hated my office. I was lucky enough to have a dedicated space, for myself,  and yet I somehow managed to let it get over run with junk. Clutter. And any useless item I couldn't seem to throw out--it just got tossed into my office, where I thought I'd eventually deal with it.

Until now.

I decided in order to get back to enjoying my own personal space, and having the desire to actually write in said space, required me to clean it, organize, de-clutter and go on an all out rampage with a garbage bag in hand.

But cleaning my office is only part of my post for today. No, it stems from further back, as Friday's are dubbed Mommies Anecdotes, there has to be some mention of my son.

Captain Obvious as I secretly like to call him, now more than ever!

He's at an age where he doesn't quite understand sarcasm. So, though he may think that I've handed him the helm of his own ship, that's really not the case. It's more about how annoyingly obvious he can be, and how he likes to point this out as though he's just solved the greatest math puzzle in the world, with such conviction and attitude, that he must think he is a genius.

I think it's annoying.

I'm not sure when he developed this trait, though thinking back, I'd say it was sometime around when he first learned to speak. I swear. As far back as I can think, he's always been Captain Obviously annoying.

Maybe I just noticed it more over the last few days as I cleaned out my office.

When I had a garbage bag and had begun to toss copious amounts of trash into it, his response, eloquently stated was... "You'd have less garbage if you cleaned your office more often."

Why how could I have missed that? It seems so simple doesn't it? And obvious. Because, yes, let's face it, I'm a grown up and know that if you toss things in the trash, naturally you'd have less of it to throw out... or at least, you wouldn't be wading through it and disposing of it all at once.  

Once I had managed to toss out the garbage, I had to start organizing things. Granted, I didn't actually have a place to put anything, hence why it was randomly piled up in every square inch of floor space in my office. To which my son stated, "Maybe you need shelves."

Hmm... I hadn't thought of that. Actually, I had. Shelves cost money. Money I, more often than not, could find other uses for. But, it became apparent, the only way to clean and organize my office was to have a place to store things, rather than having leaning towers of junk.

I was lucky enough to find bookcases on sale. With Mr. Olive's help, I loaded four of them into a cart and headed for the check out.

I was excited. Not only would this help organize, but I could finally display, proudly, the books that I had (in another part of the house) suffocating in boxes.

Once the books came out of the boxes, I struggled with how to organize them. The choices were endless. By Author, by genre, by date read, by series, by colour... So I just simply began to pile them onto the shelves, stacking them, getting them out of the box when my son, the genius kid he is, came to me and said,  "You'd be able to fit more books if you lined them up like this," where he then demonstrated how to put a book properly onto the shelf.

Thanks, son, trust me, I've seen books on a shelf before.

I eventually got too overwhelmed with the idea of organizing the books. I simply placed them onto the shelf in the proper way as I had been shown, in a semi-categorized fashion. The goal was to put the books onto the shelf and worry about the rest later... Or not. "I can't read, but I think this is upside down."

Of course it is. It's like he's standing over my shoulder waiting for me to do something wrong. I take the book, flip it over, and slide it back onto the shelf.

After two days of cleaning, I had actually given myself the few moments to just stand back and admire the shelves, the clean desk, the neatly organized array of things, and at the fact that I could close, and open, my closet doors.

"Once you vacuum I think it'll be all clean, mom."

He's a slave driver, supervising my work. I couldn't just relish in the few moments bliss, no, I had to have the next obvious thing pointed out to me. I knew the floor was dirty. It was obvious.

But yet, he doesn't stop there. He actually came in to survey the work I had done the second he heard the vacuum stop, where he proceeded to tell me I'd missed a spot. Over there. I can't believe you didn't see it... It's so obviously dirty.

It's not just things like that, though. I'm out of milk. Or at least I was. But I did have to have the six year old kid tell me that I wouldn't have run out of milk had I looked, noticed it was almost empty and promptly purchased a new jug.

Oh, it's raining. You're getting wet? Maybe you should have an umbrella. (I'm too cool for an umbrella)

If you did my laundry when I told you my hamper was full, I wouldn't be out of clothes (seriously, this happened three days ago. I felt like a bad parent)

You don't have any money? Maybe you should get a job. (I've stopped using the "You can't have this, because I have no money excuse.)

Honestly, at least once a day, I'm told something obvious, and or something I don't need to be reminded, or told from a six year old. The sad thing is, I imagine it getting worse. He thinks he's doing me this super huge favour.

But in a slightly annoying, obvious kind of way, it's mostly cute. It makes him a little quirky. Annoying. But quirky.

Oh, and I totally think I need more shelves because, I was told, if I buy even ten more books, they won't fit on the shelf...
The first picture is several hours into cleaning (yes, I had already begun to clean when I took this picture... you can only image...)
And the second is the after. I have tons of space, the pictures don't do it justice.
Now I just need Mr. Olive to hang my curtain rod :)




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