Well, sadly there will be no book review today, I know, you were all looking forward to one, right? Well that’s not to say I didn’t do any reading, because I did. A lot but those reviews will have to wait. So instead I would like to regale you with a story, a short one, about my son. Probably not as interesting as the other things I’ve talked about, but you know what, who cares!
So sit down, grab a drink and read what I have to say, and comment, because I like me some comments!
If you didn’t know, I have a four-year-old son. His name is Andre. And he’s special. Okay, I think he’s special but still. He’s my first (and only) child, the first boy born this generation and well, so far might just be the last to carry on the family name.
Aside from being a boy Andre is also stubborn, among many other traits that for the sake of keeping this blog post a reasonable length we will ignore for now. But yes, I know, in the scheme of things stubborn isn’t that bad. However, lately the whims of his stubbornness have begun to drive me mad.
Case in point, “I’m going to stay in my jammies forever!”
Now, I enjoy a jammy day as much as the next person. There is always, something nice about curling up on a cold day with a hot chocolate and good book and of course, comfy PJ’s. When you’re sick, sometimes the task of getting dressed is too much to bear; and so in sues a day lazing about in your jammy-jams. And well let’s just face it, sometimes you just want to stay in your warm flannel, Christmas print sleepwear just for the sake of it.
But, there comes a time when there are better things to do then just sitting around like a lump on a log, and being a parent, I often don’t have the luxury of hanging out all day doing nothing. However, my day often times revolves around my four-year-old. He needs to be fed, taken care of and well when he doesn’t want to go somewhere, sadly, sometimes I just have to listen. Of course, things can go too far.
The other day Andre refused to get dressed. There were arguments, threats (Shh don’t tell) and tears. Though there comes a time when as a parent, you just have give up. So what if I needed groceries, or to mail a letter (yes people still put stamps on envelopes and put them in the mail) or maybe go to the bank that unbeknownst to my son is only open nine to five. There are just some battles not worth winning.
So we settled in for a day of watching movies and being lazy. It was nice, once we got passed the struggle of getting dressed.
Sometimes things are so good you just want to do them again, the next day. Andre apparently liked his jammy lazy day so much he thought, who needs to get dressed today? I, of course, felt getting dressed was important, not only because who needs to stay in their sleeping garments two days in a row and I had things to do, even more things to do in fact.
Case in point, “I’m going to stay in my jammies forever!”
Now, I’m not a mean mom, really I am not. But when it comes to not listening, well I can only take so much. The Jam-Jam’s had to go, and I was losing my patience. What I wasn’t expecting, but what I should have assumed was going to happen, was that Andre wouldn’t listen. So began the time outs. It got to the point that yes, I locked my kid in his room, in hopes he’d get dressed. Time outs don’t work, not for Andre at least. The concept seems beyond him. To him so what if he gets locked in his room, or has to sit in a chair in the darkest part of the hallway. He does his time and then continues on doing whatever it was that got him there in the first place. He’s even called the time out a break. “That’s fine. I was going to take a break anyways.”
So, I tried the “I’m going to leave without you” trick. I put on my jacket, grabbed my keys and headed for the door. And this is where most kids cave. When Andre was 2 he caved and would listen. When Andre was 3 he’d cave, begrudgingly listen but 4 year old Andre didn’t cave. “I didn’t want to go to the store anyways. Have fun mom!”
At this point it’s now two o’clock in the afternoon, I’m getting frazzled, and what I should have done was just forced him to get dressed possibly kicking and screaming, or forced him to put on his shoes and take him to the store in his (gasp) jammies. But I couldn’t. Wouldn’t. So I busied myself with other things like laundry, floor cleaning and paying my bills online. The four year old wins, sadly.
Two days in jammies was enough, I really wasn’t having a third, but, once you as a parent caves, well, you’ve just done yourself the biggest disservice ever. They now know they can win.
Case in point, “I’m going to stay in my jammies forever!” These are his words, not mine.
Yes that’s right, for the third day, in a wrong my son thought it most appropriate to wear his jammies again, all day, and yell more times than I can count, “I’m going to stay in my jammies forever!”
I had no choice, mean Mommy had to make an appearance. I could not, would not have a third day of doing nothing because I can’t outsmart my kid and force him to get dressed. Or could I?
Thank god for school days!
Apparently when there is no school, well it’s perfectly acceptable to hang out in PJ’s all day, but when I told Andre he’d just have to go to school (or rather playschool) in his Dinosaur jammies, the tables finally turned. In record time he got his clothes on, brushed his teeth and was ready to go.
The bad thing? It wasn’t a school day. I know, how mean is that? Sure I assumed there would be some backlash, I thought an all out war would have happened, we’d have a mutiny on our hands, but no. Not the case, at all. What I got? “It’s okay Mom that you forgot when school was. I wanted to get dressed anyways.”
Yes that’s right. My son, four years old, turned the entire incident around, making it seem like it was my fault and that it was HIS idea to get dressed. But at least he’s not in Jammies anymore. And tomorrow really is a school day, so at least I have that on my side for now.
Coming up this week we will have the very talented Kinley Baker the author of Ruined answering some of my questions, and yours! So check back :)
Coming up this week we will have the very talented Kinley Baker the author of Ruined answering some of my questions, and yours! So check back :)
